Here is a post from my wife about how our 5yr old is handling the changes in our adoption.

When we first began this process of adoption, we knew it wasn’t just a calling for Josh & I. We prayed that God would give us, Josh, me, & the boys, the strength to get through this. We all are in this together. We tell the boys as much as we are told, as much of what is going on that we think they can understand.

The past couple of days have been a little confusing for the boys. Tanner (3yrs)  just keeps asking “Who coming? Just Nya? Just Little J?”. I don’t think he fully understands the concept of any of this quite yet. He just sees pictures and has always been told “those are your sisters” so to him those little girls are his sisters. Braden (5yrs) on the other hand is quite smart in his young age, and understands a little more than I would like him too, I think. When I told him the other day what was happening, he simply said “Momma, it’s ok. At least we can still go get Nya.”

As time goes on, I kept hearing him tell Tanner “Tanno, Little J’s daddy came to take her away. She can’t come here anymore, but it’s ok, we can still have Nya.” As he’s been saying this more and more, I’ve come to realize, I think it’s more about him telling himself this is all going to be ok so he keeps saying it over and over again aloud.

Last night a different side came out that made my heart hurt a little. As we were getting ready to pray before bed, I asked Braden what he wanted to pray for. He said “For family and for Nya.” I said “Don’t you want to pray for Little J still?” He turned a little angry and said “We don’t need to pray for her. She’s not in our family anymore.” I tried to talk through it a little with him, but he wasn’t budging so we continued on with our prayer. As we walked through the kitchen he grabbed a pencil and went to the fridge where a picture hangs that he had drawn of our “whole family”, all 6 of us. He said “I’m erasing Little J. She’s not in our family anymore!” This Momma couldn’t hold the tears back anymore & I asked him to please not do that. He stomped up the stairs into his room and crawled into bed.

I tucked Tanner into bed and went in to Braden’s room. I asked him if he was ok. He said yes. I asked him “Braden, if something happened to Tanner and he wasn’t with us anymore, would you still love him? Would you still say he was your brother? Would you still say he was in our family?” He said yes. I said “Do you still love Little J? Do you still say Little J is your sister?” He was quiet for a minute then looked up at me with tears running down his face and said “Momma, she was suppose to be here. She was suppose to be in our family. You were suppose to go get her.” I explained to him that what we want isn’t always what God wants for us. I told him it was ok to be angry, to be sad, to cry ( I still am, and will for a while) I told him we needed to pray for Little J, and that no matter what we will still love her, and she will always be a part of our family, and that if it was God’s will for her to be with us, He’ll make it happen. He shook his head and said to me “I’m still gonna erase her from the picture.” I said that was ok if he had to do that. He said “but I’m gonna draw all our hearts and put Little J in them so she’ll always be in our hearts.”
These are lessons we are grateful we can walk our children through at such a young age; learning God’s will, understanding we don’t always get what we want, but God’s will is perfect, hardships and trials will come in life, but we cling to Jesus in the midst of them, and so many more.

Please be praying for the boys as they try to process all this at their young ages. That God will give us all the strength to endure this heartache…..