As we quickly approach the Christmas season we as Christian parents are faced with a dilemma; what do we tell our kids about Santa? How long do we just ‘go along‘ with the fairy-tale that has been created. How are we to wade the water of fairy tale and truth about St. Nick, Santa and Jesus? For many this has become an amoral issue; it is not even a question we are asking ourselves. We tell our children all about Santa, the reindeer, elves and the whole rest of the Christmas crew, the whole time making mention of baby Jesus but only in passing form.
It’s somewhat of a strange phenomenon when you start to unpack it. No parent would encourage their children to lie, promote dishonesty or shading in the truth. Yet yearly we go along with the fabrication that is the modern day story of Santa. Now I am a supporter of St. Nick and the truthful telling of his story, not the made up Santa’s. There are many great things we can learn from him. Yet even with this truth in mind how much more should we be about the true reason Christians celebrate Christmas.
Why Jesus
There is more to it then simply telling the truth, as my title pleas. The real reason I teach my 5 and 3 year old the truth about Santa and Jesus is because when compared to Jesus, Santa is a joke. Santa gives mere gifts, Jesus came to give life. Santa only gives gifts if we are good, Jesus knows we can’t be good on our own and still gives us the greatest gift of all. Jesus, even as a baby, was more than our fairy-tale Santa can ever dream of being. So why would I encourage my children to live for something so small? Why would I build hope around something so temporal?
I want my children to see Jesus at the center of everything. To do this I need to let them know that they are going to be getting gifts this Christmas, but it is not dependent upon if they are good or not. It is dependent upon my love for them. Let them know that just like the gift we have all been given in Jesus, we will exchange gifts. Let them know the gifts don’t come from Santa but friends and family that have been blessed by Jesus to bless them, no matter how good they are. Everything I have worth giving to my children is rooted in Jesus, not Santa. My children need to know this, they need to see me depend on Jesus, not Santa.
Real Santa
I am not against telling my children about Santa, I tell them about him and may even get pictures with him, but I tell them about the real Santa, not the one that we have fabricated. (If you don’t know the story of the real St. Nick, read this post on The Resurgence, Saint Nicholas.) It is not cruel or mean to teach your children the truth about St. Nick, even if they spill the beans at school and break other children’s hearts. It is the loving thing to do. Teach them about St. Nick and his love for Jesus. Teach them that St. Nick can help us remember to be generous, just as he was and Jesus is.
The real St. Nick, Santa, would want you to worship Jesus not him, the reason he did what he did was because of Jesus. His parents raised him to love Jesus and this love caused him to give gifts to those in need, mostly children. Jesus was the reason behind his giving, and it should be the reason behind ours likewise. Pointing our children to the reason is needed if we are to have children that will not only be generous, like St. Nick, but also live their lives worshiping Jesus.
Our Role
Take charge of your family, read the story of Jesus and his missional birth, that saves sinners like you and your children. Learn about the real St. Nick and inform your family about who he was. But most of all don’t allow your family to be sold a small Christmas savior like the fictitious Santa, point them to the baby who was and is King of all Kings. The baby who is the giver of all gifts we have, ruler of all rulers and our Lord and Savior. Anything else is simply a lie and leading your family into a life where there is no hope of real joy this Christmas Season.
I am not saying what I have written above is perfect, I am only suggesting it might be better than lying to our children.
Merry Christmas
-Josh Cousineau
Here is a helpful article by Mark Driscoll, who says it much better than I did, we just happened to post on the same day. Also check out Mark Gedicks on Rethinking Christmas over at the Gospel AllianceNE blog.
Good thoughts, Josh.
I have always thought it was a bit disturbing to teach children that unseen beings called Santa and the Easter Bunny and Jesus all exist. Then when they get older, they find out that we have been dishonest with them about two of the three.
I have never thought about it that way, I bet there are many ‘christian’ children who have grown up thinking that Jesus is just another fairy-tail! Makes you think about the importance of teaching truth to our children!
Thanks Buck!
Mean to add this – My wife found a book at Wal-Mart called God Gave us Christmas. It is a good children’s book, I don’t know anything about the authors, but the premis was good – http://amzn.to/gixjKw it’s 9.99 on Amazon.
I grew up in a Christian home, youth group, sunday school, and of course services. I have been reading your blogs and agree with most of what you have to say. I disagree. I feel that in todays world children have a very limited time to be children and fantasy, pretend, make-believe whatever you may call it – is not bad for a child. I believe that you do not have to choose between teaching your children Jesus’s Birth or Santa. There is a tactful and appropriate way to make Jesus the center of the holiday without making the notion of Santa off limits. I think that in today’s world we expect too much out of children and it is simply not fair. Let them be kids. I believed in Santa and I knew the real meaning of Christmas…
Megan, for me it has less to do with my children and more to do with Jesus and God. One concern is if we are to encourage our children to believe in Santa, the Easter Bunny, Tooth-fairy then one day they find out we had been lying to them, they can really think that Jesus is also fake. They can’t see Jesus, they can’t touch Jesus so why would he be true and the other things false? Also doesn’t it rub you wrong to just sit there and lie to children. I want my children to see me fear God not culture or the ‘norm’. I talk to my kids about the real Santa, St. Nick. I also let them know that people believe in Santa and that is ok for them.
When you boil it down Santa is really not worth knowing about when we have a right view of Jesus. I might be pushing it, but I don’t think I am, but people that are all jacked up on Santa and teach their children about Santa have a very small view of Jesus. It is like having a real diamond and a fake one and only talking about the fake one. Why in the world would they be excited about something that is worth nothing compared to the real diamond. So the real heart issue has nothing to do with Santa and more to do with their low view of Jesus!
Thanks for the conversation and reading Megan!
Megan, for me it has less to do with my children and more to do with Jesus and God. One concern is if we are to encourage our children to believe in Santa, the Easter Bunny, Tooth-fairy then one day they find out we had been lying to them, they can really think that Jesus is also fake. They can’t see Jesus, they can’t touch Jesus so why would he be true and the other things false? Also doesn’t it rub you wrong to just sit there and lie to children. I want my children to see me fear God not culture or the ‘norm’. I talk to my kids about the real Santa, St. Nick. I also let them know that people believe in Santa and that is ok for them. nnWhen you boil it down Santa is really not worth knowing about when we have a right view of Jesus. I might be pushing it, but I don’t think I am, but people that are all jacked up on Santa and teach their children about Santa have a very small view of Jesus. It is like having a real diamond and a fake one and only talking about the fake one. Why in the world would they be excited about something that is worth nothing compared to the real diamond. So the real heart issue has nothing to do with Santa and more to do with their low view of Jesus! nnThanks for the conversation and reading Megan!
We sure do make up a lot of stuff at this time of year.
http://www.sermonspice.com/product/28307/retooning-the-nativity
Thanks for the link Scott! Good little video.
Josh I am so proud of you!! I need to tell you that when Chris and I got saved, I got so convicted just about this issue. We shared with Mike that Jesus is the real deal and that Santa was not but a storey. We told him that some people haven’t ask Jesus into their hearts and didn’t believe or receive Jesus as the Truth and the Savior. But they like to believe in this fair- tale.
I remember Mike saying ” how sad mom.” From that time on we celebrated JESUS… 4 years old and he was very content in knowing the truth. My family who arent’ saved thought we were hurting Mike. Then, just then out of the mouth of babe’s Mike tells my family…Jesus is real and santa isn’t why believe in somthing that isn’t real when you can believe in the real meaning of Christmas!!! He got the message at such a young age.. Child like faith! Nothing compares to it…I never wanted Mike to say Jesus who? Not believe in Him, and know at age 5 or 6 years old that santa who he thought was real isnt real.. didn’t want him to think Jesus wasn’t real. So since 4 Mike has always believed in JESUS Thanks Josh for sharing the truth so boldly! God Bless you!
Our 5 year old has always been told the truth. He struggles with how to respond when others ask him about being excited for Santa to come. He tries and is learning to be tactful, but we struggle with that as well. What do we tell him to tell others, especially other children? Our response has been, “I am looking forward to Christmas. I don’t believe in Santa.” and then don’t argue with them. If they insist that Santa is real, just say, “ok.” (Which means, I understand that you believe, but it doesn’t mean that I agree.) It’s a very awkward place to be in as parents, but it’s also awkward for him. He asks us why parents lie to their children, and we have to say, “We don’t know.” When we asked him if he would like us to pretend that Santa is real, he said, “No. Why would I want to believe in something that’s not real?” So, there you have it. Sticky situation, but the truth is best, even with the backlash and the difficulties that come from knowing the truth. But isn’t that what Christianity is like for all of us all the time? It’s a lesson he needs to learn sometime. I guess the sooner the better. I expect it will improve his social skills, tactfulness, and his inner strength to know that what everyone else tells you is not always true, so check it out for yourself, and don’t always go along with the crowd, cause the crowd doesn’t always get it right.
Thanks Sonya for your comment. I agree that it is going to help him. One thing about life, because of sin, is that we are always put in a place where things are hard. Yet as Christians the truth will always be the best way. Thanks again!
Thanks Sonya for your comment. I agree that it is going to help him. One thing about life, because of sin, is that we are always put in a place where things are hard. Yet as Christians the truth will always be the best way. Thanks again!
It is a tough issue that parents must face during this time of year. I have to be honest, I do not have my own children and really do not know how to handle that situation. My wife and I have had this conversation and came to the conclusion to teach them about Jesus and the story of St. Nick (which thanks for the links Josh).
The greatest thing to ever happen to man kind happened on Christmas, and that is the birth of Christ. The name Jesus means He will save His people from their sins. Because we chose to disobey God, we deserve to pay the penalty of death. But because God loves us, He became flesh to redeem us by paying the price of sin. Should we remind ourselves of the crucifixion of Christ? The suffering, and pain he had to endure. Better yet do you think that Jolly old fat guy, we seem to associate Christmas with, would have been able to do what Jesus did? Santa can not save us.
It is a hard subject to talk about, but it is like Josh to deal with these tough issues, to challenge us as Christians, and to point us to Christ Jesus. This is my favorite time of year even before I was a believer. I knew the true story even then but did not believe I needed Jesus. My Grandmother past away a few years ago during this time of year, and I also visited a lady this weak from our church who we feel is not going to live to see December 25th. At the Hospital I was taken back to when my grandmother past away and was brought to tears. There was not one mention of Santa Clause and tiny elves. Not one mention of the gifts we bought each other. The only thing (this is the first time I experienced this) that was talked about was Jesus and how we are reminded this time of year of His birth and the greatest gift ever given. The lady is saved and in a few days will be meeting with Jesus and we rejoiced in that confidence. That’s the reality we live in. The reality of us needing Jesus.
I enjoy decorating for this time of year, singing Christmas carols, the time with family, the sharing of Christmas stories (true ones and fairy-tales), but like always we need to be focusing on Jesus. Not the feelings that may get hurt when children find out Santa is not real (which will happen eventually and would the parent want to be the source of truth), but focusing on are we sharing the Truth about God, and Jesus Christ.
Thank you Josh for this challenging Post! It really shed some light on the heart of the issue.
Thanks Albert for your encouraging words, and I think it is great you and your wife are talking through these things now before you have children! Luv ya bro!
Thanks Albert for your encouraging words, and I think it is great you and your wife are talking through these things now before you have children! Luv ya bro!
You know how vocal I am about my opinions and love reading your blogs, but this is one post where I have to disagree. With all the crap that’s out there these days, I have zero problem with children using their imagination and believing in a wholesome, magical character such as Santa. To be honest, the day that I have children, I will probably tell them he isn’t real, however, the parents that choose not to, I have no problem with whatsoever. I have never heard of one case of a child holding onto the fact that their parents lied to them about Santa and used it to decipher religion in their later years; to even think that is naive in itself. We may think everyone else is commercializing Christmas, but as Christians, we should look further into the story that we have marketed and sold as complete fact. It is portrayed on a grand scale in churches across the country including East Auburn Baptist. nnTo further prove my point I have clipped a section of a recent article I’ve read:nnThe Biblical story of the birth of Jesus is found primarily in Luke 2. Luke neither quotes nor mentions an innkeeper. We suggest the story does not refer to an inn, a cave or even a barn, but rather a house!nnThe text of Luke 2 notes there was no room for Mary and Joseph in the u201cinn.u201d Unfortunately, the Greek term translated inn (kataluma) had multiple meanings, among them inn or caravansary. Used only one other time in the New Testament (Luke 22:11 and the parallel passage, Mark 14:14), it was the place where Jesus observed the Last Supper with His disciples. Here, Dr. Luke gave additional information about the kataluma. He said it was a furnished large upper story room within a private Jerusalem house. The kataluma of the last night of Jesus’ earthly ministry was the u201cupper room.u201dnnIn conclusion, my point is: Santa can’t take over Christmas unless we let it. Yes, people have commercialized Santa, but many Christians have done the same exact thing with the holiday. Jesus wasn’t even born in December! None of our traditions are perfect and parents should follow their heart and pray about whether or not they should incorporate Santa in theirs. If they chose to do so, they shouldn’t be judged or called liars by others. Jesus definitely wouldn’t and if He did, it would go against everything I’ve ever learned in my lifetime about His grace.nnMerry Christmas
Hey Mark I totally get where your coming from, and I enjoy reading your responses to Josh, as they are always well thought out and very articulate. My question though (and this is something I’ve been wrestling with myself) is if Jesus is better than Santa why would we want to tell people especially our children of anything less? Santa brings presents, and only to the good children (this promotes forced morality, not genuine love) Jesus brings the gift of everlasting life, and offers it freely even to the bad kids. C.S. Lewis says it better than I could ever hope nn”Indeed, if we consider the unblushing promises of reward and the staggering nature of the rewards promised in the Gospels, it would seem that Our Lord finds our desires, not too strong, but too weak. We are half-hearted creatures, fooling about with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea. We are far too easily pleased.”
Mark thanks for your comment. I totally agree that the church has added a bunch of inferred stuff when it comes to Lk 2 and the whole Inn thing, cave etc… Most likely it was a room off of a house that held the animals. nnAbove you said that you have no problem with children having an imagination, I also have no issue and whole-heartily promote my children to have vivid imagination. The problem I have with lying to my children about Santa is the lying part. It baffles me that people have no problem with lying to their children. I don’t care how you justify it lying is lying. nnMy question is, what is your main issue with my point of view on this topic? You said, “To be honest, the day that I have children, I will probably tell them he isn’t real,” I am guessing your problem is that I am calling people out for lying to their children? I am basing this on this statement – “If they chose to do so, they shouldn’t be judged or called liars by others”. It is not judging anyone to tell them they are lying, it is only pointing something out to them. nnI think people who lie to their children really have a problem more with their view of Jesus, not with imagination, tradition or anything you listed above. I agree with Tim’s quote of C.S.Lewis and how it applies to our making of Santa a big deal when Jesus is the big deal) “making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea. We are far too easily pleased.”) The sad thing is in far to many things, not just Christmas, we are pleased with such little things. Jer. 2.12-13 comes to mind as a picture of what we are attempting to do with Santa. nnIf parents understood the vast worth of Jesus, there would not be an issue about Santa. nnThanks for making me think more bro.
Josh and Tim, thank you for the responses.nnMy viewpoint is simple: I will not tell my children that Santa exists, but I don’t think Christian parents that do so should be looked down upon or told to change. Because like Santa, there are many other traditions involved with Christmas that do not glorify God. nnLet me ask you this: nnDo you exchange gifts on Christmas? nDo you decorate your home for the holiday?nDo you eat more food than other days?nDo you have a Christmas tree in your home?nAre all the Christmas songs you listen to about Jesus?nnThe traditions I just listed are just as commercialized as Santa is and will probably distract a child the same amount. Sadly, everyone on earth is going to make things about themselves, but I don’t think people who choose to incorporate Santa into their holiday traditions should be looked down upon or corrected for it. It’s their choice. nnI also have never seen one case of a person that has used their past experiences with Santa to decipher the basic religious principles you just mentioned. That idea seems kind of off-based and just a little silly to me. I am 21-years-old and still watch movies with Santa in them because it reminds me of my childhood. Does that mean I don’t understand the true concept behind the holiday? No way. nnNow to the point you were making, Josh. I agree. Lying is lying no matter how you spin it which is exactly why I will tell my children the truth. I also think that like me, they can enjoy Santa while knowing he isn’t real. But I also see it this way: the lie that parents are telling is kind of like leading a person on about what you got them for their birthday. You know what you really got them is something completely different, but you know this other present will bring them joy and happiness. I think I can speak for most people and say that most have done that. nnIs wanting to make your children happy, encouraging their vivid imaginations and giving them gifts really a sin? nnMy heart says no.
Marc, I don’t think Josh is implying we look down upon other people for their interpretations on Santa. He’s pointing out that Santa as he has been commercialized doesn’t exist, therefore its untrue to say he does, meaning if you say he does exist when you know he doesn’t thats a lie. Pointing that out, isn’t judging, despite what American culture says (I could use this line of reasoning on gravity too and it doesn’t make it any less real despite belief or unbelief).I think Josh’s post is simply an encouragement to people and parents about Christ’s worth. If we communicated Jesus’ worth well enough that it matched his greatness why would we care about Santa? The truth is we wouldn’t. I guess my perspective is simply this. Kids all over the world stay up as late as they possibly can to try and get a glimpse of the man in red, they wait anxiously for the gifts he doesn’t actually bring, for the miracles he doesn’t actually do. Leaving offerings (milk and cookie) and then the following morning being fulfilled by Santa. Why can’t we do those things about Jesus? Thats why Josh’s post is encouraging, not because he is saying Santa is wrong, but because Jesus is SO much greater than that.
Tim, I’m going to have to respectfully disagree with your notion that writing a blog with the title “Please Don’t Lie” is looking down upon people that do. To do so, you’d have to be as pure as Jesus and that’s one thing none of us are. Also writing an entire blog is not merely pointing it out, but digging into the morality of the issue. We all know Jesus is greater than Santa, that’s not where my argument is.nnI’ll just leave my points at this. Santa, like many other traditions take away from the true meaning of Christmas because they are commercialized. Also, find me a case where telling your children that Santa is real will affect them later in their lives in regards to deciphering how great Jesus is. It just doesn’t. nnMerry Christmas, guys. Loved the debate.